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Thread: for pet owners

  1. #1
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    for pet owners

    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:



    6:00 am - At last! I go pee! My favorite thing!

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!





    Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:



    Day 983 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

  2. #2
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    That was funny.
    What do cats know anyway?

    I won't allow a cat in our house.
    My Wife won't allow a dog in our house.
    Terrie says an Elephant is out of the question.
    Sasquatch is out of the realm of possibilities.
    What's left?

  3. #3
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    Have you seen the video of the people with the Moose for a pet ? They let it come into the house and every thing...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE7uMjWJmbA

  4. #4
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    That was hilarious M7

  5. #5
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    The rain. The Moose. No state taxes. I gotta move there.

  6. #6
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    You forgot the snow ...... Lots and lots of Snow

  7. #7
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    I think that maybe one those guys from north of the boarder . Or was it Dirty Birch ? LOL !!!! Just dressing up so he could fit in .

  8. #8
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    The gig is up...My cover is blown!

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